Busy Week

This week has been a busy one, to say the least. It seemed as if it was just Monday, and boom, the week was over. I realized when I was signing Tye into preschool yesterday that it was the 21st, 8 months since we lost Brian. The time is just ticking by. I can hardly believe it is almost December! I feel so different in the past 8 months, like I am not even myself anymore. I guess I know that I'll never be the same.

Several service projects have kept me busy this week, both in action and in my mind. My class made 10 dozen cookies for the food kitchen last week. It was a lot of fun, cooking with my 10 sixth graders. You haven't really baked cookies until you've helped 3 sixth grade boys. Fun and interesting! Then this week we finished up our collection of shoes for Soles 4 Souls. We collected 1,076 PAIRS of shoes! Wow! My classroom was overtaken! We delivered them on Thursday to another church that will be shipping them, and we were all very excited at the impact we have made. If you want more info, check out their website www.soles4souls.org . Then yesterday I took the 8th graders to work at the food pantry. We worked our tails off! It is good work though. Yesterday was a very busy day at the food pantry because like all food pantries across the nation, more and more people are in need of food these days, with the economy. Our little food pantry still keeps up, even with the lack of space (they are building on now!). When I left after an hour, I felt like I had just had non-stop action the whole time! It feels good to help others.

My family and I have been on the receiving end so often. It is humbling to ask for help and to take help. I swore over the past few years that I would do a better job of giving of my time, talents and treasures to serve others, partly in thanksgiving for all the help we've received, and partly just because that is what I should be doing. So far I am not able to give of my treasures just yet, although I make sacrifices to still be able to give some money where needed. I have found the chance to give of my time quite a bit lately, and although it makes my schedule totally crazy, it brings me some peace. I'm not sure what talents I have to give just yet, still waiting on a revelation about that.

As the holidays approach, it makes me wonder how the world would be if all those who are giving money and volunteering would do that year-round, not just at this time of year. I had the craziest dream last night that I was filling my van with gas, and the guy next to me had filled his tank, but then they didn't take checks. So he was digging through his wallet trying to find money. His wife was crying and rummaging through her purse, and the gas station attendant was telling them he was calling the cops because they couldn't pay. I was looking over at them, thinking how down on their luck they were, and also thinking how easily that can happen. So I just asked, how much does he owe? And he said $8. I thought, surely I can sacrifice $8 to help someone, just cut back on 2 trips to Sonic after school or skip buying one case of pop and I'm almost there. So I said, I'll pay it, and they swiped my card and I paid for his gas. And everyone at the gas station was looking at my like I was crazy. But the guy and his wife were so in shock, looking at me like no one had ever helped them.

When I woke up this morning, I thought, how odd. I have no idea where it came from. Maybe it was my mind reminding me that it isn't that hard to help others, or to sacrifice for the sake of others. So I thought I should at least share it with you, maybe to put the thought in your mind to do something for others today.

So why am I doing what I'm doing? Brian and I promised when they had the first fundraiser for us that we would work the rest of our lives to help others. I was able to stay off work from Dec. to Aug., caring for Brian and grieving his death. I could not have done that without the generosity of so many. We didn't go hungry or lose our house or get to the point we couldn't provide for our children.

Over the past years, Brian and I would dream of winning the lottery. We would talk about all we would do with it, and so much of it was for others. I would definitely build on to our school (music room, nurse's office). Right now I would use the money to start a foundation in Brian's memory, to help others with melanoma, and to educate kids about sun safety and melanoma awareness. I figure no amount of money would ever be enough because I have so many people and causes I would want to help.

So this doesn't make me an amazing person. I just think I've been through hell and lived to tell about it, and I believe Brian's suffering cannot be in vain. So as I worked at the food pantry yesterday, I thought of him, how we were going to volunteer there together...and I just thought, I'll try to do enough for both of us. I just hope others learn from us too.