Fuzzy Feeling

My dad, sisters and their husbands, and my brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law, along with our children, cooked for the Manna Kitchen last night.  It is something new at our church, and we have taken from the idea of the Shepherd's Kitchen at the Presbyterian Church on Thursdays.  A few other churches in town are also taking a night, and St. Gregory's hosts on Mondays.  Anyone is welcome to join for food and fellowship.  Often the patrons come that are in need of a good, warm meal.  Many of them are looking for friendship and support.  I had asked everyone if they wanted to do this together for a service project for Christmas, and it was a great experience.

We served sloppy joes, green beans, cheesy potatoes, watergate salad and cherry, pecan and pumpkin pies, along with chocolate chip cookies.  Everyone pitched in to make something, and and the soon-to-be sister-in-law Rosie wowed them with her pies (she is welcome in our family! ha!).

While I was serving, a kid came up and said...hey, aren't you Mr. Halley's wife.  He has no idea how he made my day.  The sheer acknowledgement of my husband was so bittersweet.  I proudly said yes, and we chatted.  He asked me how I have been doing.  I pointed out Tye, and he was just amazed that Mr. Halley has a kid in kindergarten!  He and I have already had a few conversations about Brian since his death, as we do run into each other once in a while. 

Then I sat down to eat with my dad and a few other people.  Another young kid came up to me and said that the food was really good.  It warmed my heart.  Then he said...hey, someone told me that you are related to Mr. Halley.  I smiled and said...yes, he is my husband.  He said...well, I want to tell you how sorry I am about what happened to him, and that he was a very good teacher.  I was overcome with emotion.  I told him thank you for telling me that, and that he loved to teach.  I asked his name and how old he was, and based on that, he would have been in 7th grade probably when Brian was in and out of teaching all year during his last year (the same year he had his major surgery before the brain issues started).

I have said often, but Brian rarely is mentioned to me anymore.  I don't expect him to come up in conversations that much, and when he does, sometimes it doesn't even affect me because I think about him all the time still.  But last night was a good feeling, just having kids that he taught remember him.  And twice I got to say I am his wife.  It actually feels odd now.

I did shed some tears, but they felt kind of funny, not devastated, kind of sad, but mostly just happy tears that he is remembered and we are still associated with each other.