Another Loss

My day unfolded much differently than I had planned. I was going to work in the yard (which needs a major overhaul after some neglect this winter) and take Tye swimming at the college pool. I am thankful there were no set plans that allowed me to drop everything and run.

Stacy called last night with the news that her dad had a rough day. He has battled renal cell cancer over the last several months and recently learned it had spread to his brain.

Have I mentioned that I hate cancer?

Anyway, Stacy's dad is my mom's brother. Tomorrow marks the 3rd anniversary of my mom's death. How ironic.

So yesterday was not good...the night was very bad. By this morning when she called me before 7, things were spiraling downhill fast, as it seemed his heart was too worn out. There was still the hope that things might turn around. By 8 a.m., he had been moved to ICU and more signs showed the end was near. My other uncle was headed from Council Bluffs to pick my dad up and head down to Lee's Summit. I decided split-second to go also, in hopes of getting there to help with the kids.

I made it almost to Savannah before Stacy called with the news that Uncle Gary had passed away shortly before 10. A stage IV cancer diagnosis still never prepares you for the suddenness that can come out of nowhere and rock your world. I headed on down and was able to spend a little time with our family at the hospital, then stayed at Stacy's all day. I can't say I was any help really, but it felt good to be there and to offer my support.

For those of you that don't know, my mom basically died of a heart attack in her sleep at 53 years old. She was the baby sister. I am comforted in knowing that Gary could be with Mom again, as I know how much he missed her.

I felt like I was reliving my nightmare...cancer kills, everyone cries, no one knows for sure what to do, everyone cries some more. Yet I was so blessed to be able to be there with them, hopefully for them. I wish I could take it all away, all the pain and suffering. I've been there, done that, so I wish I could do it for them since I know I at least survived. I felt so helpless, and I was reminded how so many must have felt when Brian was slipping away.

So there it is, cancer wins again. I usually do my whole "don't let cancer continue to hurt you" and "cancer didn't win because it can never hurt him again" routine, but tonight I am just too sad to think that cancer has taken my uncle, Shirley's husband, Stacy and Chad's dad, the kids' grandpa...that cancer has taken yet another life. It is so unfair, and something I will never understand.

I am sure it will be a long week. I better get to bed. I'll leave you with a few Tye comments since he was with me today...

Me: Get dressed. We are going to see Brooke and the boys.
Tye: And Stacy?
Me: Yeah.
Tye: Why?
Me: (Sigh) Because Uncle Gary is sick and he is maybe going to Heaven today.
Tye: Hey, my dad's in Heaven! He can tell him hi!

We were on 435 driving past Front Street in Kansas City.
Tye: Wow! Look at that cloud maker!
(The smoke stacks were just puffing out smoke).
Me: Uh, that is not a cloud, but it looks like it. (I was just mulling over how to explain it when he said...)
Tye: Oh, it must just be a dragon.

Then we were on I-70, just past Royals stadium when we could see the MoDOT brown, cone-shaped bin thingy that holds sand (I think) to cover the roads in the winter.
Tye: Whoa! Check out that big ice cream cone! It is upside down!

I can always count on him to make me smile.