Morning Jolt and Bolt

Today started off just like any other day...

Oh wait, no it didn't...sheesh. Let me start over.

So I opened my eyes this morning to daylight (remember I sleep with my blinds open). I don't mean a little light, I mean a bright, sunny morning. It took about a 1/2 second for me to bolt out of bed and know that something wasn't right. I looked at the clock...7:52 a.m.

That can't be good.

I'm supposed to be at school by 7:30, and school starts at 7:50.

Like I said, not good.

Funny thing (not so funny at the time), I thought...great, I've blown my New Year's resolution already (which I heard last week that like 90% of people don't follow through with their New Year's resolutions...but I was going to be in the minority)...my resolution was not to be late to school anymore. It seems that we were constantly getting there 5 min., sometimes 10 min. late. Even just showing up in the parking lot at 7:30 wasn't all that great because I didn't have much chance to get settled before it was time to teach. So I had a plan...

And I blew it already.

The next 25 min. were a blur and I got Tye into school by 8:20 and headed to my classroom. I told the kids at school that it was a distinct feeling, kind of half like being shot, and the other half like I used to feel on early Sat. morning basketball practices when I was in high school and the weather was cold (that kind of foggy feeling). And the horror, I went to school without mascara. I almost went without eye makeup, but the bags under my eyes would have likely been too much of a distraction to my students.

When I walked in, Rachel (who had been at her dad's last night) just shook her head. Then she said...what happened to your alarm? I told her I didn't even take time to figure out what happened, so I'm not sure. When we were heading out to recess later in the day she asked me how I got ready so fast, and I said that I almost broke my neck. She scrunched up her face and said...did you take a shower? Ha. I said...are you kidding me? She looked at me like, oh gross. Jeez. She'll figure life out someday! Like there was time for a shower with a 4 year-old still asleep in bed and time ticking away. Plus I don't sleep real well, and when I do, I sleep hard...so of course I looked a sight this morning. Needless to say, I've been on the run all day, basically trying to get caught up. Thanks to my friend and co-worker Cheryl for supervising my class while I was laying in bed eating bon-bons! I did have several people say today that maybe my body just needed the extra sleep...

I made up for the fact that I was late for school by working until after 8:30 p.m. tonight...I stayed until 3:20 for bus duty, and then ran to Amberlea's eye appt. I went back to work from about an hour, then ran and got Tye, got Rachel and a friend for bball, headed back to school, ran and got Tye something for supper, and went back with Fox and the Hound so he could watch while I worked at school until nearly his bedtime. See what I mean about being on the run...

What a great day.

I did get a great laugh today when I went to get Tye from afterschool. The two college girls said they were talking about their classes, and one of them said something about her psychology class...and Tye piped in and said, Pagliai's? I love Pagliai's (pronounced Pall EE eyes)...which is a pizza place in town if you don't know Maryville, and it is Tye's favorite place to eat...he always begs me to go there. The girls got a really good chuckle out of him, and I had to laugh because he has just been full of it lately. His teacher told me today that he was just in an exceptionally great mood today. So I guess the morning jolt and bolt didn't phase him any.

Oh, and as for the alarms, it appears mine was not turned on, and Amberlea's (which I can also hear and ironically double-checked last night that it was on) was set correctly, but the time was PM instead of AM, so it probably went off tonight when I was gone!

I'm going to have to buy one of those that drags your behind out of bed...

When I was getting ready, I had to fight back some tears. I battle anxiety sometimes, and when I get overly anxious about something, my grief seems to start showing itself. I looked in the mirror and all of a sudden I was really sad that it is just me here. I miss having a husband, especially a husband like Brian who was up and drinking coffee long before my alarm would go off, who would kiss me on the neck to wake me if I pushed snooze too often. A few tears squeezed their way out and I just had to shake it off and set those thoughts aside. Tonight I've been thinking about it and it just makes me feel empty. I told them at school that I hoped someone would be calling soon to find out where I was, and I know they would have. Still, it was a crappy feeling.

I've been working on some memorial ideas for Brian, and have already done a few things, so I'll be updating about that soon.