Splash of Color

I am seeing red, literally. I am painting my front living room red. It is actually pomegranate. Interestingly, it looks like a dark orange rust in the paint container, but when it dries, yep...it's pomegranate! I enjoy painting...it relaxes me. I don't particularly care for the prep work and cleaning up afterwards, but the painting itself I like. I spent most of the time thinking of Brian. I wonder if he would like the red. I think he would. Mostly he would like it if I like it. I remember when I painted part of our kitchen in our old house navy blue. I told him I wanted a blue accent wall, and he was like...ok, whatever, I don't know what looks good. So I went and got the paint, and we were all ready to go. He opened the gallon and just about passed out. I don't know what he expected, he never could tell me...baby blue, turquoise, robin egg blue, royal blue...either way, he wasn't expecting navy. He just took a deep breath and started painting. We always loved that accent wall. He commented several times that he like the dark, bold color. I had mentioned a few times that I liked the thought of a red/maroon shade as an accent wall in our living room. In our old house, our living room and dining/kitchen ran together into one big room. He always would just shake his head. Finally one day he said...I don't want it to look like an American flag threw up in here! I never really meant to have a red AND a blue wall...

So it is red. I was reluctant because the walls in my living room, dining room and kitchen are all custom painted with ivy and leaves and flowers, and even a few birds. Amberlea really wanted me to leave the birds in the living room, which would mean I would just paint around them! She thought I was totally crazy to paint it red. I got the sample from a friend and have seen the paint on the wall, so I already knew I would like it. She came home from her dad's last night in time to catch me finishing the primer (kind of a Pepto-Bismol pink). She gasped. I said...well, you said you don't like red, so I thought hey, why not pink! She said...you are the coolest mom!

Then I kind of felt bad. I said...well, I guess I'm uncool because I was just kidding, it is still going to be red! As of this morning, the red is wearing on her because she's said several times that the living room looks nice except for the mess.

I guess we are putting up our tree tonight. Tim called the other night to tell me that Rachel had shared with them her concern for us not putting up a tree, and she was worried about Tye missing out, and about them not having a tree on Christmas morning. I really wasn't planning NOT to put up a tree, but no doubt I am avoiding it. I grew up with us putting up our tree during the last week before Christmas, and then leaving it up until the first few weeks of January. The first year I moved out, our tree was up over Thanksgiving weekend. I love the lights, and the peaceful feeling you get just seeing the tree glow. We always slept under the tree at some point, and I have made that a tradition with my kids too.

So back to this year. I put up the Daddy/Brian tree several weeks ago, and no one seemed to care. No one has said a word about putting up the other tree. And I certainly wasn't too excited about it. I didn't want to be the only one excited, considering my level of excitement is lacking, and have the whole "putting up the Christmas tree" experience be utterly boring and painful. Well, I guess Rachel was worried it would upset me, and I guess maybe I am worried I will upset them if I cry.

Regardless, we're going to tackle it tonight. I'll try to post some pictures.

My heart has been heavy the last week. I mean, my heart has been heavy for like 4 years now! But really, this week has just been a week of being tired and sad. I sort of feel like crying, mostly just feel like I'm down in the dumps. I told a few people the other day that I was actually half doing ok and then the holidays hit me. I luckily am excited about a long Christmas break and about surprising my kids for Christmas.

Hope your December is going well.
Jenni