Very Special Visitor for Tye

Santa Claus stopped by to see Tye tonight! In true cancer fighting chaos, something fun and cute came out of the pain.

Brian's vancomycin comes from Apria Healthcare out of St. Joe. I talked to the nurse this afternoon, and she confirmed that his next shipment would be arriving later tonight. We were eating supper and I thought someone had pulled in the driveway. The doorbell rang, and I headed for the front door, Tye on my heals, as always. We have side half windows, and we could see a much older man smiling and holding a box like all the other ones from Apria. He had a full white beard, and as Tye started down the stairs, he pointed and yelled...Santa Claus!

I opened the door and he identified himself, but we had to talk over Tye getting so excited about Santa Claus! I said...he thinks you are Santa. He replied...I get that a lot! Tye jumped back in...where's your deers? He said...I just drove my car tonight since it isn't Christmas yet. As we walked up the stairs to review the inventory and have Brian sign the paperwork, he told me that he enjoys spending time over the holidays as Santa, and that he even has a Father Christmas robe...he travels all around and plays Santa for Christmas parties and also for home associations and shelters. He got a real chuckle out of Tye, who kept saying...hey Santa...and...look at this Santa! After Brian signed, he said goodbye and told Tye to be good...he said, your mom knows my phone number. We told him we would write him a letter. Tye said...ok, Santa, be careful! Then he hugged "Santa". We got a good laugh!

Below are a few pictures I wanted to share.

By Sunday, Brian had overstayed his welcome at University Hospital. He spent some time on the computer, ironing out details of his fantasy football team, while watching football, football, and some more football on t.v. By this time, he was finally starting to look like my Brian again!

Brian spent so much time in the hospital, that his hair on his head started growing back! Several nurses even commented on the growth, as it was quite a noticeable change as the days passed! The girls and I had teased him that we wondered if it would come back in red and curly, but it appears that didn't happen. It does look kind of soft and long, but we'll see once it thickens up. His facial hair had a lot more white in it than before, but it is finally showing dark and a little red!

Every year for the last several years on the day before Thanksgiving, we have taken Rachel and Amberlea bowling after getting out of school at noon (we were out the whole day this year). This was Tye's year to get to start going. Unfortunately, Daddy is hunkered down at home, and I was feeling pretty down about this. I find that to be one of the biggest struggles I have, outside of his actual health...the change in lifestyle, the change in family times, the things we always took for granted that we don't have now. It has been the girls and Tye and me a lot lately, with no Brian. I won't ever be prepared for what my future might hold, none of us are. But I do know what it feels like already to not have him around always, and it sucks. So I decided to do something different and invite my sisters to join our tradition. Karis and Zeke picked up Tori and met us at the bowling alley (maybe Don can join us next year). Have you ever been bowling with three kids this age? It was life-changing! Rachel and Amberlea were great sports in being very patient. The lady working was very kind to go get Tori's ball several times when she didn't give it enough oomph to get down the lane. This was Tye and Zeke's first time to bowl, although Tye has bowled many times on the Wii! It was a great time, and I look forward to many more years of sharing our kids on this day.

We could have used this for our annual Christmas card pictures, but we opted not to attempt to add the 2 year-old to the mix of bowling with two 4 year-olds, and one 3 year-old, so we'll have to wait on that picture since Don was missing!

As for Brian...pain level is good, vanc is doing the trick because he perks up more each day. He's pretty down on himself right now, with having a hospital bed and all, and I can't say that I blame him. Physical therapy has gone well today and yesterday, but he is really struggling with the fact that he can't walk, not even close. I keep telling him it will take small steps to get there, but he knows the road ahead will be long, and could be very difficult. He has been cleared for his next treatment (as of right now), which will be Dec. 3rd, barring any other interruptions. We hope to enjoy a quiet 10 days or so at home before having to return to Columbia.

We continue to be blessed by the kindness and generosity of so many. Upon receipt of my most recent paycheck, I was that much more grateful that I don't have to worry about finances right now, and can just take care of my family. I ran to the store tonight for a few things, and a friend walked up and gave me a $100 bill to use for the kids for Christmas. I find myself at a loss of words (yes, it does happen with me)...being on the receiving end of so much love and support, so much thoughtfulness and kindness, so many selfless acts...it is so humbling. It doesn't take much for me to understand why there is suffering in the world, as it brings out the best in people; albeit, I'll never understand why Brian is the one (none of us wants to be the one).

I've been listening to the Brooks and Dunn song, God Must Be Busy. I cry hysterically every time I hear it. It feel so much like God isn't listening, or He has too many other important things to take care of. I heard it again twice on my solo drive home from Columbia, and I cried both times. But I did come to realize it is not my theme song. Although it hits home about wondering why these things happen, like a kidnapped child, or fighting in the Middle East, or a 35 year old husband and father with melanoma, I wonder about the chorus...

And I know in the big picture

I'm just a speck of sand

and God's got better things to do

than look out for one man.

I know he's heard my prayers

cause he hears everything,

he just ain't answered back

or he'd bring you back to me

God must be busy.

...actually does sort of sound like my theme song. But in all faithfulness, I know better. I know that we are numbered like the stars, that we are each a unique child of God. I know that God watches over Brian, and I know he's heard the millions of prayers said on Brian's behalf. I know that there is a plan, and the reward for being faithful followers is greater than anything in this life. I know He's not too busy.

What I don't know is why He hasn't shown his hand, why He hasn't spared Brian and our family from this misery, from this threat, from this pain. And that, my friends, is something I may never understand. But I can guarantee you, I'll stand in line to ask the Great Physician myself someday when all my questions are answered.

Love to you all,

Jenni