While You Were Sleeping, Shopping, Eating, Partying...

Brian's illness has not deterred us from the hustle and bustle of the holidays, which I actually welcome. I actually look forward to the chaos of it all, especially this year. It has become a nice distraction. Regardless of our current situation, our lives are going on in somewhat of a normal manner.

But during all of this craziness, melanoma continues to wreak havoc on the lives of so many. Twenty year old Michael Davilla joined the angels today and left behind a fiance and parents to mourn the loss of their only child; Calvin passed away early yesterday morning; and Maria lost her battle late last week. We are reminded of the devastation of this disease, and pause time and again to thank God for the time we have together.

I finally got busy and nearly finished my Christmas shopping on Friday. I left town around 1:30 p.m. and headed to St. Joe. I shopped and shopped...and cried a little here and there. I found myself walking around in circles several times, thinking too much and feeling anxious. I just have to share my funny, hopefully not too offensive story! I was walking in the makeup/fingernail polish/girly aisles at Walmart. I was just roaming around, looking for fun stocking stuffers. I had walked up and down the aisles and it was time to get out my trusty notebook, full of info on what I had bought the kids and who all we needed to buy for. I was kind of walking and pushing the cart at the same time as I was writing and thinking. I continued up and down the aisles, still writing and making notes (I'm at the point of needing to be sure things are even now). I stopped and wrote down a few more things. I glanced up at the crowd of shoppers. I couldn't believe how many people were there (by now it was close to midnight). I continued writing and counting and being sure I had finished anyone else we had on our list. I started thinking about drawing names, and if Brian would be there next year. I started thinking about how much I wanted to spend 50 Christmases together.

Then it happened.

I looked up again and glanced to the left this time, realizing that I was smack dab in front of the condoms! Hmm...I better check my list. Hmm...which one should I buy? I can only imagine how it looked, me standing there checking my list. I was so out of it that I didn't even realize. It knocked me out of the trance and sparked a little giggling, and I took off. As I continued to shop, I thought maybe there could have been an even worse place in the store for me to camp out and check my list, but I didn't think of one.

I arrived back in town around 1:30 a.m. I know, I'm crazy. That is sooo something my mom would do. Then when I pulled into town, I thought that I wasn't too tired, so I went to Walmart here. I was only short about 2 items by the time I stumbled into the house around 2:30 a.m., and I was very happy I had decided to go on Friday and not during the snowstorm on Saturday!

Brian joined us at the Eickholt family Christmas today at Dad's. Granted, he slept most of the time. It appears he is battling this infection in his leg still, as the wound has a distinct odor and discharge (more info than you needed). It is improving, and he feels fine. He is fighting some little muscle spasms in his right arm, or they may be small seizures...not sure. He's had 4 this week so far, one this morning. They only last about 90 seconds. I have discussed it with Dr. Anderson and asked for them to check his dilantin (anti-seizure med) level, as that was out of whack last time. If that isn't the case, it could be numerous things, including some swelling, just the fact that we've been messing with his brain, or something else with the muscles...or even something else going on in the brain. For now, we just have to wait it out until next week when he returns for an MRI. The pain is still pretty bad in his left hip, and I fear we will have trouble getting rid of this.

Someone left a sack of packages outside my dad's door tonight. There was a letter to Ann's kids, and it was very personal. I'll just tell you that there were some special presents for the four of us and for our children from someone who wanted us to know our mom was watching over us. It was a very special time for our family, and again, I felt close to Mom. She loved having the family all together, and I just know she was looking down on us today. I'll never stop missing her, and I know she would have enjoyed seeing all the kids together today.

I'll write more later, I promise. I wish you all a busy, chaotic, wonderful Christmas Eve.
Jenni