There's No Place Like Home

I promise to keep the Wizard of Oz references at a minimum this time!

I do wish I could have clicked my heels and been home in a flash today. It was a long drive home, with Brian being a little uncomfortable and sleepy, and me being so tired. I spent Friday night in an ICU waiting room with a family that had been there for 8 weeks. Luckily, they were very nice, which made up for them being so noisy and forgetting about others around them. Saturday night I stayed in the oncology floor waiting room, and was too sleepy to even get to sleep. Once I did get to sleep, I woke when the nurses came to get another woman because her husband had taken a turn, and that in itself was somewhat overwhelming. I am happy to be home in my own bed tonight, and am hoping to quickly recover from this most recent bought with sleep deprivation!

Brian is ok. His spirits weren't as great today as they had been, as some of the pain had returned. I was glad to get him out of the hospital because I think I did a better job of controlling his pain when we were at home last week. That is simply from the fact that Brian is the only one I'm taking care of, and I set a timer and keep him on schedule. He seems better this evening and is settled down for bed.

As far as physically, he is very weak. Tonight, he was unable to get to and from the bathroom without me, and it is somewhat of a physical challenge for me too, as far as getting him moved around. I am hoping when he is tapered off the steroids, he will be able to regain some mobility in his legs. He will start back to physical therapy later in the week hopefully, but I want to give him a little time to recoup. As far as the Chicago treatment, he is seeing no side effects, and we are set to return for an Oct. 26 appt.

I've spent a lot of time pondering over the weekend. My head has just been spinning for weeks, and as funny as this might sound, it almost felt like my mind just stopped for the weekend. Instead of things swirling around in my head, I just felt like I couldn't even focus or even think farther than that exact moment. I tried to think ahead to the busy weeks we have coming up, but my mind just felt like staying in the moment. Brian cried a lot this weekend. He thinks he just cries like a baby...when we all know how tough he has been. I tell him he can cry all he wants, that this is totally unfair, and he has every right. I hope he is beginning to realize that crying doesn't make him weak...I actually think it brings his feelings out, and helps him keep going.

We are just so blessed by this news, and definitely feel as if God is laying everything out for a full recovery for Brian. We believe in Him, and fight every moment of doubt with the knowledge that God will always carry us through.

Count your blessings,
Jenni